No Tongue Can Bid Me Thence Depart

I'd like to tell a story. It begins with a confession.  Simply put, 

I was mad at God. 

I went to WHAM (Worship Him at Midnight) one Friday night and I decided to spend most of the time writing in my journal and praying.  I had been feeling distant from God for quite sometime and I wasn't sure why.  I could feel something separating us, but I honestly had no idea what that "thing" was.  So, I was crying out to God, asking Him to show me, so I could get rid of it.  I desperately wanted to be "wholly Thine".  But He was quiet. I felt like I was crying out to an apathetic, silent God and I got really frustrated.  For the next few days, I feigned indifference, but I couldn't deny the weight of guilt that laid so heavily upon my shoulders.  A good friend of mine asked me to a prayer group.  He was so persistent, so I consented, despite my less than eager attitude.  I mocked myself because I felt like a ridiculously dramatic, snobby teenager who was mad at her Dad and decided to "punish" him by giving him the silent treatment ("You won't talk to me? Well, I didn't want to talk to you anyways. Take that!").  I knew how ridiculous I was being, but I didn't care.  I trudged all the way to Pastor Tim's (the prayer group) and once I got there, I spent most of the time journaling my frustrations, as I did at WHAM.  I had heard good, but weird things about Pastor Tim's so I was somewhat skeptical walking into it.  This guy who they call Pastor Tim prayed over everyone there, including myself. He asked me my name and then prayed for me and said things that seemed a little specific for him to just make up.  It was pretty strange and I wasn't sure what to think of it all.  He prayed mostly in "thank-you's":

• Thank you that Emily doesn't just want to know about you, she wants to know you personally.
• Thank you for the healing prayer ministry that she will one day lead.
• Thank you that you will speak to her through dreams and visions.
• Help her to not be so hard on herself.
• Thank you that she is a compassionate listener who wants to reach out to the broken.
• Thank you that her days of self-doubt are over.

There was more, but that was all that I remembered as I frantically wrote it all down when he finished. I was taken aback by the directness of his prayer and rather confused. The next day, I was still mulling things over, but I had sort of come to the conclusion that self-doubt was the problem.  That afternoon, I began playing and singing different praise songs in the practice room, a habit from last semester that I hadn't picked back up. When I sang Before the Throne of God Above by Selah, the words penetrated me (despite the number of times I had previously sung them) and my eyes were opened to the beautiful salvation of God.  He was speaking again and I was filled with joy. That night, I went to set up for a recital in Hughes, expecting there to be rehearsals going on, but there wasn't a single person in there.  I've always recognized that Hughes is a sacred place, but when I walked in there, I was overwhelmed by God's presence.  I sat in the balcony and just sat with the Lord until people showed up. It was glorious. The sun (Son) was pouring into the windows and was warming my soul.  The next morning, I went to chapel and I actually got there early, so I had time to sit and prepare for corporate worship.  The first song we sang was Before the Throne of God Above.  I couldn't stop smiling because God was so obviously speaking to me. He was assuring me of my salvation. I closed my eyes and worshiped Him and saw Him smiling down at me.  He was pouring His love into me and I have never felt so FULL in my life.  The rest of the music was perfect and the chapel speaker boldly preached the Gospel (which was very refreshing).  The rest of the day, I just wanted to run around telling everyone how GREAT God is and how DEEP His love is for us.  Later, I went into Hughes when it was empty again and I sat in the balcony singing hymns.  I'm so thankful for an intimate God.  He is not apathetic or distant, but He is with us. That's basically the end of my story, but I could literally go on for hours praising His name.

I started writing this post a few weeks ago on spring break, but then college happened again, so this post is a little dated.  Since then God has been showering blessing after blessing on me through new friendships and existing ones, an answered prayer--my amazing TAG partner, Leslie--, deep conversations, an uncontainable joy, true worship, and His love. The amount of times I've felt like the happiest person alive recently is pretty amazing. 

To conclude, here are the lyrics to Before the Throne of God Above. 

Before the throne of God above

I have a strong and perfect plea

A great high Priest whose Name is Love

Whoever lives and pleads for me

My name is graven on His hands

My name is written on His heart

I know that while in heaven He stands

No tongue can bid me thence depart

No tongue can bid me thence depart

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end to all my sin

Because the sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free

For God the just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me

To look on Him and pardon me

Behold Him there the risen Lamb

My perfect spotless righteousness

The great unchangeable I am

The King of glory and of grace

One with Himself I cannot die

My soul is purchased by His blood

My life is hid with Christ on high

With Christ my Savior and my God!

With Christ my Savior and my God!

One with Himself I cannot die

My soul is purchased by His blood

My life is hid with Christ on high

With Christ my Savior and my God!

With Christ my Savior and my God!

Amen. Amen. Amen. I hope you understand the magnitude of His sacrifice and the depth of His love. :) "I've tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves where my heart becomes free and my shame is undone." And now,

No tongue can bid me thence depart

My love to all,

Emily 

As Long as You Are Glorified

Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings yet not welcome any pain?

Shall I thank You for days of sunshine yet grumble in days of rain?

Shall I love You in times of plenty then leave You in days of drought?

Shall I trust when I reap a harvest, but when winter winds blow, then doubt?

O let Your will be done in me. In Your love I will abide.  

O I long for nothing else as long as You are glorified.

Are You good only when I prosper and true only when I'm filled?

Are You King only when I'm carefree and God only when I'm well?

You are good when I'm poor and needy.

You are true when I'm parched and dry.

You still reign in the deepest valley.

You're still God in the darkest night.

O let Your will be done in me. In Your love I will abide.  

O I long for nothing else as long as You are glorified.

So quiet my restless heart in You.

καὶ ἡμεῖς ἐγνώκαμεν καὶ πεπιστεύκαμεν τὴν ἀγάπην ἣν ἔχει ὁ θεὸς ἐν ἡμῖν. Ὁ θεὸς ἀγάπη ἐστίν, καὶ ὁ μένων ἐν τῇ ἀγάπῃ ἐν τῷ θεῷ μένει καὶ ὁ θεὸς ἐν αὐτῷμένει. 

"We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." - 1 John 4:16

To God be the glory in all things.

His Eye Is on the Sparrow

His Eye Is on the Sparrow is a beautiful hymn written by Civilla D. Martin and composed by Charles H. Gabriel.  This hymn was inspired by the scriptures, Matthew 6:26, 10:29-31, and a Christian couple, the Doolittle's.

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not worth much more than they? (Matthew 6:26)

Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31)

"Early in the spring of 1905, my husband and I were sojourning in Elmira, New York. We contracted a deep friendship for a couple by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle—true saints of God. Mrs. Doolittle had been bedridden for nigh twenty years. Her husband was an incurable cripple who had to propel himself to and from his business in a wheel chair. Despite their afflictions, they lived happy Christian lives, bringing inspiration and comfort to all who knew them. One day while we were visiting with the Doolittles, my husband commented on their bright hopefulness and asked them for the secret of it. Mrs. Doolittle's reply was simple: "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me." The beauty of this simple expression of boundless faith gripped the hearts and fired the imagination of Dr. Martin and me. The hymn "His Eye Is on the Sparrow" was the outcome of that experience."

- Civilla D. Martin 

These words have brought me much comfort during my transition to college.  I have been at Asbury for almost three months now and it has been 6 weeks since I last saw my family.  Needless to say, homesickness has crept its way into my heart.  I'm fine when I'm with friends or my mind is busy, so I try to avoid solitude, however, I am forced to spend 13 hours a week alone in a practice room.  I started bringing my piano book of hymns and I came across His Eye Is on the Sparrow.  I was familiar with the hymn, but I never really thought much about it.  One line that struck me the most is, "Why should my heart be lonely... when Jesus is my portion?"  Total dependence on God is something that I long for.  Growing up with such wonderful parents, I was given everything I could possibly need.  Now that I am away from them, I have to rely on Someone greater; Someone who is always with me (That is not to say my parents aren't still here for me, but it's different 8 hours away).  So through this hymn and the words of God, I have discovered the beauty in homesickness and I would like to share with you the reasons why I am thankful for homesickness.

#1 I am thankful for a home and a family that I love so much, my heart literally feels heavy when we are separated.  Many are not this fortunate. I'm thankful that I have something to miss.

#2 I am thankful that I am offered a deeper relationship with God through homesickness.  He is teaching me that He is my portion, my constant Friend, my Guardian, my Leader, my Provider, and that I can depend on His love and care.

Read over these words and let them fill you with the hope and joy of a Savior who cares about us and let yourself be fully dependent on Him.  It is through dependence/surrender that we are free. 

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,

When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,

I sing because I’m free,

For His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me.

"Let not your heart be troubled," His tender words I hear,

And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;

Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,

When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Peace and rest be with you all on this beautiful Sabbath. 

Love,

Emily

The Lord Be With You

"When worshipers arrive at church, they are welcomed to the worship.  There are different ways in which this welcoming is achieved, just as there are different ways of welcoming guests to one's home.  But the first thing to remember is that worshipers are not in church primarily to welcome one another, nor should it be thought that the minister is playing host to the congregation.  They are gathered to meet God; God is, in a sense, the host, and we are being welcomed into his presence.  This is why the greeting is not "How are you this morning?"--which is often heard in churches that seek to make the service friendly to the visitor.  The appropriate greeting is a mutual salutation, "The Lord [or, The peace of the Lord] be with you," and the congregation responds, "And also with you."  When the minister says, "The peace of the Lord be with you," and the congregation responds, "And also with you," they are joined together in peace.  "The Salutation joins the participants in the action through the gift transmitted through it." The state that defines the community that gathers in the name of Jesus to worship the triune God is peace, that is, reconciliation.  If there is no reconciliation between God and people and between people, there can be no true worshiping community."

 Liturgical Theology by Simon Chan

I love this...

I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

Hope everyone is having a fantastic week so far! I came down with a little cold last week, so that's why this recording is overdue. I picked a short, simple, hymn today. It is called, "I Have Decided To Follow Jesus." At first, it doesn't seem to have much depth. It is repetitive and rather straight-forward. But that's why I like it.

Take a listen and see what you think & don't forget my commentary is right below (This one is really worth reading, promise!)

I have decided to follow Jesus;

I have decided to follow Jesus;

I have decided to follow Jesus;

No turning back, no turning back.

Though I may wander, I still will follow;

Though I may wander, I still will follow;

Though I may wander, I still will follow;

No turning back, no turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me;

The world behind me, the cross before me;

The world behind me, the cross before me;

No turning back, no turning back.

Though none go with me, still I will follow;

Though none go with me, still I will follow;

Though none go with me, still I will follow;

No turning back, no turning back.

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?

No turning back, no turning back.

In an attempt to search the seemingly nonexistent depths of this hymn and to find the beauty rooted within, I found the most incredible story that it originates from.* This hymn was formed by the lips of man from India. He and his family found the Lord and converted to Christianity in the mid-19th century when some Welsh missionaries came to share the message with the community. This, of course, was not acceptable in the Eastern Indian society.  The chief asked him to renounce his newly found faith or face execution and he replied, "I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back, no turning back..." Enraged, the chief ordered an archer to shoot down his two sons. Then again, he asked him to renounce his faith or see his wife dealt the same fate. He just sang, "Though none go with me, still I will follow. No turning back, no turning back..." Then he watched his wife fall to the ground from an arrow. The chief gave him one more opportunity and he replied, "The world behind me, the cross before me. No turning back, no turning back..." Following after his family, this extraordinary man was killed. This right here, this story, this is why I am studying hymns. They have substance, they have beauty, they have history. Now when you sing those words over and over again, you have an entirely different mindset. It is also worth noting that because of this man's display of such great faith, the chief spontaneously confessed that he too belonged to Jesus and the entire tribe followed in his footsteps.  Because one man was willing to die for Jesus (as He did for us), an entire tribe accepted the Lord as their Savior. This story is just amazing. Something my youth leader said a long time ago has always stuck with me; we must decide each day to follow Jesus. Each morning when you wake up you have to make that choice. Am I going to live like a follower of Christ today? Make that decision and live accordingly. 

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. I'm running on 4 hours of sleep and being gone from 7am-9pm and yet it's midnight and I'm still typing. That should say something!! I really hope you took the time to read this and I hope it blesses you as it did me. Have a lovely rest of the week!

*The origin is actually indefinite concerning whether it was from an Indian missionary, an Indian prince, or just an ordinary Indian man. Each story is very similar, but I chose to share the one of the ordinary man. 

Day By Day

For my second hymn, I chose Day by Day! It's been over a week, so I didn't meet my goal, but this song was just so difficult for me!! I recorded it last week, but I wasn't satisfied with it, so I didn't get to finish it till today.  I'm still not thrilled with it, but I'm content. Hope you enjoy!

Day by day, and with each passing moment,

Strength I find, to meet my trials here;

Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,

I've no cause for worry or for fear.

He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure

Gives unto each day what He deems best—

Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,

Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day, the Lord Himself is near me

With a special mercy for each hour;

All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,

He Whose Name is Counselor and Pow’r.

The protection of His child and treasure

Is a charge that on Himself He laid;

“As your days, your strength shall be in measure,”

This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in every tribulation

So to trust Your promises, O Lord,

That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation

Offered me within Your holy Word.

Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,

E’er to take, as from a father’s hand,

One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,

Till I reach the promised land.

Day By Day (1865) was written by Karolina W. Sandell-Berg, the "Fanny Crosby of Sweden." Robert J. Morgan provides a little history about "Lina": She was born in Frvderyd on October 3rd, 1832, a pastor's daughter.  When she was twenty-six-years-old, her father drowned when the two of them were enjoying a boat ride. She found consolation in the Scriptures and expressed her faith in poetry. 

This song is a reminder that God is with us each day helping us through our trials. "I've no cause for worry or for fear." Lina knew hardship; she knew sorrow and grief but she believed in God's kindness and love. She believed that He gave each day what he deemed best which could bring us both pain and pleasure, both toil and peace. Even during the hardships, Lina had faith that God was in control and just as she accepted the pleasures of having a kind Savior, she accepted the pain and toils of life. 

God is present with us and so is His mercy. He protects us as a Father protects His child and what's beautiful about that is that He doesn't have to. And yet He does... He treasures us & keeps us safe. Lina quotes Deuteronomy 33:25 in the second verse. God promises that our strength will grow as the days go on.  So if you feel like giving up, remember that each day, you grow stronger.

In the third verse, Lina makes a plea to God. She acknowledges that as sinful humans, we often lose faith in the Word of God, if we think it is not being fulfilled. So she asks for help that she can trust Him and not lose "faith's sweet consolation." Our days here are earth are "fleeting" and soon we will reach the promised land where all our sorrows will be forgotten. 

Here's some scripture to end with:

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?

 The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" 

~ Psalm 27:1

"Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

~ Nehemiah 8:10

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

~2 Corinthians 12:9

Be Still My Soul

For my first hymn I chose Be Still My Soul! I finished recording it today and I'm really excited about it! My piano teacher lent me this book called Then Sings My Soul by Robert J. Morgan. It's really cool! It has a wide selection of hymns and with each hymn he gives a little history on the song and so I will reference to it quite a bit throughout this series. And now without further ado, I present to you my very first cover!!! (Warning: It's rather long, but I couldn't cut out any of the verses! Be sure to read the lyrics.)

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake

To guide the future, as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know

His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,

And all is darkened in the vale of tears,

Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,

Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay

From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on

When we shall be forever with the Lord.

When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past

All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise

On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;

Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,

So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.

Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine

Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

Be Still My Soul was written in 1752 by Katharina von Schlegel of Germany to the tune of Jean Sibelius' song "Finlandia", which became one of Finland's most popular national songs. According to Robert J. Morgan, this hymn was widely sung during World War II. It was a huge comfort to the people during that terrible time and especially to the soldiers. This song renewed the spirit of so many who were in such a hopeless place in life. 

In verse 1, it reminds us to leave everything in God's hands. So many times we want to walk our own way, make decisions that are not according to God's plan, but we have to leave it to God. He will order and provide.  In other cases, we find ourselves wrapped up in a lot of changes; changes we don't necessarily like. And it says that He will remain faithful.  Just beyond the thorny patch is a plain field where we will find joy.  

The 2nd verse speaks volumes to me right now as I am trying to decide about my future. It's clear that God has been with me throughout my life and so I can believe, with full confidence, that He will guide me through my future. In the last part of the verse, Schlegel is referring back to Mark 4:35-41, the story of Jesus calming the storm. "They became very much afraid and said to one another, 'Who then is this, that even the wind and sea obey him?'" 

Verse 3 addresses loss. You can see why this song brought comfort to the soldiers of WWII.  Through our tears of loss, we come to know God's heart and love in a new light. It is when things are going bad that we rely on God the most.  We search Him for answers, for comfort, for relief of pain and sorrow & He soothes us. "Thy Jesus can repay from His own fullness all He takes away." Even though He takes away, He gives us more of Himself. 

Verse 4 speaks of a better life.  A life where we will be reunited with the ones we have lost and we will have pure joy.  

And so in verse 5 we praise Him!! He is faithful to us always. He guides our past and our future.  He comforts us by giving of Himself.  And it is through Jesus that we can have eternity with our Lord and loved ones and truly be happy. So acknowledge Him in all your words and ways and praise Him! "Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine."

Words like these renew ours spirits & minds.  It is important we allow them to cover us for in them we will find great peace and a greater understanding of our Lord. 

Hope you're having a wonderful weekend :)

Acknowledging The Beauty in Hymns

Hello all! It's been a while since I've posted something on here, but it's time to get back in the groove of things! I'm starting a blog series on

Acknowledging the Beauty in Hymns!!! 

Hymns have been deemed (by many) to be old, outdated, boring, & not important. But what if, by casting them aside, we are losing a very important aspect in worship? I believe that hymns are essential to worship in church.  Slowly, but surely, hymns are being forgotten. In fact, I imagine, that in the grand scheme of things, very few people of my generation actually know hymns (except the popular ones, like, Amazing Grace, It Is Well, etc...)  How sad is that?

So here's how it's going to go...

• Every week (hopefully), I'm going to record myself playing and singing a hymn and then I will blog about its history, the message, and just share my thoughts on it. 
• The purpose of doing this is so that I will learn more about hymns and how to worship and also that hopefully, those of you who will listen and read, will learn a little too! I don't want my generation to be the one to ignore hymns and keep future generations from ever knowing of them.

Also note that I am new to the whole recording process, so forgive my imperfections :) Just focus on the words and the beautiful message that each hymn has to share! I'm super excited to go on this little journey through music, and I hope you join me! Stay tuned! 

Hymns, Substance, Authenticity

Troubles almost ’whelm the soul; Griefs like billows o’er me roll; Tempters seek to lure astray; Storms obscure the light of day: But in Christ I can be bold, I've an anchor that shall hold.

My Dad brought up the word, "substance" in Sunday School the other day and asked the question: "What if the church is not producing the substance people are looking for?" (Something like that). Anyways, my mind automatically goes to music. For me, I would much rather be singing words like that ^ than singing the words "How great is our God" 50 billion times.  There are some wonderful contemporary Christian songs, but the substance of a hymn gives off a more realness to me.  I was disappointed to hear that Asbury doesn't sing hymns anymore (it used to be all they sang) and I can't help but compare my last two visits to Asbury.  Back when one of my siblings was graduating, we sang Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone. Everyone in Hughes was singing at the top of their lungs, harmonizing whether they knew how to or not and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.  It was so real.  And last time I went, I missed that fullness, that authenticity.  The obvious difference is of course, at the graduating ceremony, a lot of the people there were alumni. So I'm curious as to whether that generation of Asburians know how to worship because they were surrounded by songs of substance whereas this generation may be lacking that substance and therefore not as excited to worship, maybe?  I don't know.  I just know that for me personally, my readiness to worship comes more naturally when I'm singing a hymn. 

Dark the stain that soiled man’s nature; long the distance that he fell; far removed from hope and heaven into deep despair and hell.  But there was a fountain opened, and the blood of God’s own Son, purifies the soul and reaches deeper than the stain has gone.

So those are just my musings for the day.  I still love contemporary christian music. I still love Asbury. I just wonder if we are ignorantly believing that this generation wants to hear the new stuff, when in fact they might be looking for more substance. If they are, shouldn't we give it to them?

Wesley's Covenant Prayer

I made a PowerPoint of Wesley's Covenant Prayer for church this morning and I would like to share it.  I love this prayer...

Not apart of the prayer... just the theme, I guess you could call it. 

Today was a Good Day

Yes, you heard me right: today was a good day!  Being productive makes me feel good. I woke up early and cleaned my bathroom.  Mom, my brother and I ran a few errands and I read The Consequences of Ideas and The Roar on the Other Side in the car to Mom.  I finished all of my Philosophy homework :) Poetry is still a work in progress, but I got a lot accomplished.  I had an assignment to go to the grocery store and study the fruits and vegetables.  It was really fun actually.  Poetry is my favorite subject.  Although, I’m definitely not a master poet, I enjoy trying to be poetic.  It is such a beautiful way to write/talk.  I look forward to learning more about it.  Tonight, I went to play bingo at a nursing home with my youth group.  It was so much fun!  They loooove them some Bingo, let me tell you!  It's intense!  Most of the night, I hung out with this one lady: she had difficulty reading the numbers, so I had to point to her which ones she could put a chip on.  She was as sweet as could be.  One time, I pointed to a number and she grabbed my arm and kissed it and told me how she hadn’t played Bingo in forever and how she was going to quit after this round.  Well, she played the entire night :)  I hope we go back soon.  The family was all together when I got home due to some out-of-town company.  So I enjoyed being with everyone and I did my Latin homework.  Now, I am exhausted, but I’m going to try to do a little more homework.  I’m getting really worried about getting it all done before Tuesday. 

Oh hey! I finally uploaded those pictures that you have been awaiting in anticipation :)

So, scary story:

I was wandering around outside when I came across this big guy.  First reaction is to scream. Second is "Dang, I need my camera!" Third, "Ooh, look at this ladybug." (Maybe I'm ADD afterall) I ran and got my camera and by the time I got back the spider had jumped down to the bottom of his web and was spinning what I am almost positive is that poor ladybug I saw a moment earlier.  It was fascinating, but horrifying at the same time.

This is his underside.  Check out that web.  Spider webs are spectacular. 

Zoomed out so you can really see how BIG he was.  Out here on the farm, we see some big spiders, but this one... he is like the macdaddy of all spiders.

Moving on to more pleasant thoughts, so I don't dream of humongous spiders eating me tonight...

Couldn't fit the whole quote, but isn't it pretty :) 

Hay bales (in this case, sloppy mounds of hay): one of my most favorite things about a farm.

Black&white version.

"What is that?" you may ask.  The answer is, a wooden, bench, swing; a place I find much peace. It is a great place to think, pray, acknowledge God's creation... As I was sitting there, I decided to take this picture because I liked how the screws looked. When I edited it, I added these words which are oh, so relevant. (Scroll down)

  I rest here deep in thought and prayer.  My heart is weary, Lord, I lay it down before you.  I hear a whisper in the wind, "Be still, and know that I am God," and it dries my tears.  I will sit here and wait, in awe of Your beauty and magnificent creation, worshipping you all the while. (My attempt at being poetic)...

This is from Wesley's Covenant Prayer.  I made a powerpoint of the whole thing for church, so I will post it on Sunday. It's beautiful. 

I totally just used blogging to procrastinate and now it is very late.  I'm off to bed! Goodnight and have a good Saturday!

What a Day...

My computer returned from getting its hard drive replaced at Dell today.  I'm excited about having it back so now I can share my pictures and work on some music things... but I found out that my journal that I kept on here has been lost.  My journal contained day-to-day thoughts, my bible study, memories, and quotes.. I can't stop crying over it. I supposed I should go back to pen and paper.

On top of that, choir practice was not exactly great. There is a conflict over a minor change in our worship service concerning engaging the congregation. The whole ordeal has gotten me thinking, what IS worship?  Does it really matter whether the congregation is engaged with what WE are doing?  Does it really matter if they sing loud, clap their hands, close their eyes and raise their hands? Part of me believes that when one truly believes God is present in the room we would be doing anything and everything to show honor, respect, awe, love... etc. We would be in on our faces and I think it's the choir's job to minister to the people to bring them to that belief.  BUT, at the same time I believe that worship can be an inward, silent action.  I'm reminded of one of our elders.  He doesn't sing, or show much emotion, but I have no doubt in my mind that he is worshipping God. I'm not sure what the answer is. I don't think anyone truly does. Except God, of course. 

Those are my thoughts for the day.  To conclude, I would like to add this picture.  I was very fortunate to capture such a beautiful picture.  Dad and I were driving home from choir practice a few weeks back and I was noting on the sunshine and dark clouds and how beautiful it was until I looked around and saw a rainbow.  We sped home and I jumped out and took a picture of the beautiful rainbow, hay bales, and bee hives.  Rainbows are such a blessing...

Hope you all had a better day than I did.  :)