New Year...New Beginnings

There's always something exciting about a new year.  You feel as if you get a fresh start on life.  I've been thinking about my new year's resolution and what needs to change in my life...
I haven't seen other people's resolutions but I assume this is a pretty unoriginal one... but oh well.

• I will no longer be staying up to all hours of the night, I will go to bed between 10 and 12. 
• I will faithfully get up every morning to workout with  my workout partners. And on days, we don't workout, I will go to the Y by myself. 
• I will eat healthier. Small portions, less sweets.
• I will not procrastinate on my homework, putting myself through serious emotional stress and my mom as well. (If you know you me, you will laugh at this one because I've procrastinated my way through this entire semester. I didn't procrastinate as much in my other two years of high school, so that makes me think that things in my personal life have contributed to my lack of motivation and laziness... Anyways, it's going to change.)
• I will take the time, daily, to read and study God's Word, journal, and pray. (The goal is the read the Bible in One Year thing. I've started it like every year for the past 3 years and have yet to finish. I will finish the Bible before I go to college.)
• I will also take time, daily, to work on my music.  (Songs I have yet to finish writing, will be completed and recorded this year. Perhaps, I'll become a "youtube artist" and become famous ;)  
• This isn't really a resolution, but I want to travel this year. I want to go somewhere I've never been. Perhaps during the summer or sometime in the fall.  I just want to go.

Well, this is all I can think of for now.  Basically, I want to live out a GOOD routine.  I know some days aren't going to be perfect...life gets crazy and you can't live out this robotic routine, but I want to get to the point where I want to go to bed early, I want to get up early, I feel weird if don't workout...etc. That way, on a day where I do get to sleep in a little bit, or I do get to relax a little more I feel rewarded instead of lazy. If that makes any sense...

This is it. Time for a new beginning. There is so much hope in those two words.

"Another fresh new year is here... another year to live! To banish worry, doubt, and fear, to love and laugh and give! This bright new year is given me to live each day with zest... To daily grow and try to be my highest and my best! I have the opportunity once more to right some wrongs, to pray for peace, to plant a tree, and sing more joyful songs!"

I have the opportunity and I'm taking it. I hope you do too. Happy New Year :)

The Season of Hope

Light of the world, Emmanuel. The Word of God has come to dwell.  Our only hope is in a child. Let God and sinners now be reconciled.

Glory, glory! We have our Savior! Glory, glory to our God! Peace on earth is born in a manger for love has come to us.  We have our Savior!

Joy to the earth! This newborn King has come to bear our sufferings; to break the curse that binds us here. The hope of our salvation drawing near!

The lame will walk! The blind will see! The captive heart will be set free! A Child has come to change the world forever! No more will sin or sorrow reign; A King has come to save the day! 

A light has dawned and darkness is over!

Glory, glory! We have our Savior! Glory, glory to our God! Peace on earth is born in a manger for love has come to us.  

We have our Savior!

This is a season of hope.  Treasure it.  Celebrate it.  Embrace it. 

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! :)

Symbols

What if the reflection in this photo is a symbol created by God to tell us that it is possible to reach what seems unreachable. 

Think about it.  The sun is sometimes seen as a symbol for the Son, Jesus Christ, right (sun/Son)? And in this picture, the sun is reflected in the water on the sand; on the ground where it is easily attainable.  Granted, it is a reflection so there's not really anything to "attain", but bear with me.  One of the most unique qualities about Christianity is that God humbled Himself.  He sent His Son (a part of Him) to earth to walk among us and ultimately to die on the cross for our sins.  What if God purposely created reflections like this to remind us that Jesus, the Son, came down to earth?  Jesus is the mediator between us and God.  Through Him we can have a personal relationship with our Father in Heaven.  How can you ignore the intimacy and power of this story?  So, this may have or may not have made sense, but I'm just thinking out loud so sorry, if I was confusing. This picture reminds me that God is not just far away up in Heaven looking down on me, but that He is with me, He walks with me,  and He is among all of us.

So that's my story and I'm sticking with it :) I like thinking symbolically.  It creates an entirely different world.  And as my Dad would say, we are meant to be a symbolized people.  Instead of apathetically viewing the world as its surface image, we should be uncovering God's purpose in all of His creation.  You never know what God might be trying to tell you through His creation even if by a mere reflection.

Hope you all have a restful Sunday!

"And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth." - John 1:14

Hymns, Substance, Authenticity

Troubles almost ’whelm the soul; Griefs like billows o’er me roll; Tempters seek to lure astray; Storms obscure the light of day: But in Christ I can be bold, I've an anchor that shall hold.

My Dad brought up the word, "substance" in Sunday School the other day and asked the question: "What if the church is not producing the substance people are looking for?" (Something like that). Anyways, my mind automatically goes to music. For me, I would much rather be singing words like that ^ than singing the words "How great is our God" 50 billion times.  There are some wonderful contemporary Christian songs, but the substance of a hymn gives off a more realness to me.  I was disappointed to hear that Asbury doesn't sing hymns anymore (it used to be all they sang) and I can't help but compare my last two visits to Asbury.  Back when one of my siblings was graduating, we sang Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone. Everyone in Hughes was singing at the top of their lungs, harmonizing whether they knew how to or not and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.  It was so real.  And last time I went, I missed that fullness, that authenticity.  The obvious difference is of course, at the graduating ceremony, a lot of the people there were alumni. So I'm curious as to whether that generation of Asburians know how to worship because they were surrounded by songs of substance whereas this generation may be lacking that substance and therefore not as excited to worship, maybe?  I don't know.  I just know that for me personally, my readiness to worship comes more naturally when I'm singing a hymn. 

Dark the stain that soiled man’s nature; long the distance that he fell; far removed from hope and heaven into deep despair and hell.  But there was a fountain opened, and the blood of God’s own Son, purifies the soul and reaches deeper than the stain has gone.

So those are just my musings for the day.  I still love contemporary christian music. I still love Asbury. I just wonder if we are ignorantly believing that this generation wants to hear the new stuff, when in fact they might be looking for more substance. If they are, shouldn't we give it to them?

The Decision

I don't like decisions very much... especially ones that will affect the rest of my life. For the past three months I have been debating on graduating a year early (and either go to college, travel, or study music on my own) or continuing high school (in challenge 4).  I couldn't count how many times I have gone over the pros and cons in my head, how many times I've begged God to just tell me which I should do, or how many times I have somewhat decided in my head, but refused to say it out loud.  Quite a few times I have said something like, "Challenge 4 is going to be awesome" or "I need to apply to Asbury" and whoever is around me is like, "YOU MADE A DECISION?" Of course then I tell them to never take my decisive statements seriously because my decision could change the next day.  I've been preparing as if I am going to graduate so that I have the option. So I attended the graduation meeting... got measured for cap and gown... planned to sing a song at graduation... and then today was yearbook picture day.  I could have gotten both a junior picture and a senior picture and later told the yearbook editors which one to use, but instead, I did the first decisive thing.  I did NOT get a senior picture done.  Therefore, I am not graduating this year. I'm feeling somewhat excited, scared, disappointed, relieved, overwhelmed...

I know this much is true.  Holding hands with my Father, He will never leave me, He will show me the right way, and I can trust Him.

I can do this.

Ramble on Life

Why hello there :) It's been a while...

Warning: I wrote this while in extreme hyper stage.

In the ahhhhmazing month of October, I have celebrated my sweet sixteen, gotten my license, and a super duper cute hyundai elantra! As it is now November, school is crazy as ever but on the upside, only 25 more days of school! So as you can see, my life has undergone some awesomeness as of late and all is well. Today I did my first piano recording (it was an accompaniment for my Grandma) and now I am really inspired to record my very own CD with some covers! It would truly be the coolest thing ever to be a singer/songwriter/photographer/pianist. I must say this has turned out to be quite the ramble, but I hope you have enjoyed it nonetheless.

Favorite picture of the season:

My favorite swing :)

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Take a second to look at the beautiful, autumn trees. They're my favorite part about the fall :)  

The Secret Ingredient

I finally got my computer fixed last Monday!  So, now I can blog!!!

Are you ready to see the best cereal ever made?

First, you will need Cheerios. 

This picture reminds me of Star Wars for some reason.  Notice the knives in the background; very intimidating.  You BETTER eat this or ELSE! :)

Next, get a peach and cut it up into the bowl of Cheerios.

...imagine an amazing picture of a peach right here.  

Then, pour some milk:

2% is the way to go :)

At this point,  you are probably wondering, "why is this breakfast so awesome?  It's a normal bowl of cheerios and milk with some peaches.  Big deal."  But wait! There is one more ingredient; the secret ingredient.  The best of them all.  



Wait for it.



Add a LITTLE bit of Italian Sweet Creme:

Have you ever seen My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding? Well, if my Dad were Gus, this would be his "Windex"; the remedy to everything.  You name it, he puts Italian Sweet Creme in it. Not to the extreme, but like fruits, cereals, ice cream, and of course coffee. 

Well, there you have it.  We had a lot of peaches last week so I ate this on a daily basis.  It was wonderful :)

The finished product. 

Now, stick that little tidbit of information in your back pocket and save it for later when you're really craving cereal, but you want to make it a little differently.

Hmm, maybe I'll start having an "Acknowledging the Beauty of Food" series. :)

 

:]

So cute...

Just a little something to brighten your day :)

Coolest McDonald's Ever

This is the McDonald's in Biltmore Village.  Pretty awesome, right? It is so much more aesthetically appealing than normal McDonald's...

We passed this on our way up to Kentucky a couple weeks back.  We went to visit my future college; Asbury University!! It was very exciting.  I got to meet and visit with some great people, tour the campus, and just get away for while. It was really nice. After we got home, we jumped right into wedding plans because MY SISTER GOT MARRIED LAST SATURDAY! The week before was crazy, but the day of was absolutely perfect.  She was beautiful and everything ran smoothly.  We are very thankful.  Well, I think that is all for now... I just wanted to show you the coolest McDonald's ever. :)

Hakuna Matata

Disney Classic. For some odd reason, this song has been in my head all day and now I want to watch the movie.

It means no worries for the rest of your days.

I hope everyone's day has been worry-free :)

Wesley's Covenant Prayer

I made a PowerPoint of Wesley's Covenant Prayer for church this morning and I would like to share it.  I love this prayer...

Not apart of the prayer... just the theme, I guess you could call it. 

Say Goodbye

*Sigh* Just one of those days…

Song of the day: Say Goodbye by Katharine Mcphee (I'm really liking her music)

"It's hard to lose love, but you were my best friend..."

Charlie Brown Medley

This is so great.  I wish I could do this :)

A Work in Progress

Blog is under construction.  Wish I could finish now, but American History (aka Mom) is calling my name. It will be finished by tomorrow hopefully.

Today was a Good Day

Yes, you heard me right: today was a good day!  Being productive makes me feel good. I woke up early and cleaned my bathroom.  Mom, my brother and I ran a few errands and I read The Consequences of Ideas and The Roar on the Other Side in the car to Mom.  I finished all of my Philosophy homework :) Poetry is still a work in progress, but I got a lot accomplished.  I had an assignment to go to the grocery store and study the fruits and vegetables.  It was really fun actually.  Poetry is my favorite subject.  Although, I’m definitely not a master poet, I enjoy trying to be poetic.  It is such a beautiful way to write/talk.  I look forward to learning more about it.  Tonight, I went to play bingo at a nursing home with my youth group.  It was so much fun!  They loooove them some Bingo, let me tell you!  It's intense!  Most of the night, I hung out with this one lady: she had difficulty reading the numbers, so I had to point to her which ones she could put a chip on.  She was as sweet as could be.  One time, I pointed to a number and she grabbed my arm and kissed it and told me how she hadn’t played Bingo in forever and how she was going to quit after this round.  Well, she played the entire night :)  I hope we go back soon.  The family was all together when I got home due to some out-of-town company.  So I enjoyed being with everyone and I did my Latin homework.  Now, I am exhausted, but I’m going to try to do a little more homework.  I’m getting really worried about getting it all done before Tuesday. 

Oh hey! I finally uploaded those pictures that you have been awaiting in anticipation :)

So, scary story:

I was wandering around outside when I came across this big guy.  First reaction is to scream. Second is "Dang, I need my camera!" Third, "Ooh, look at this ladybug." (Maybe I'm ADD afterall) I ran and got my camera and by the time I got back the spider had jumped down to the bottom of his web and was spinning what I am almost positive is that poor ladybug I saw a moment earlier.  It was fascinating, but horrifying at the same time.

This is his underside.  Check out that web.  Spider webs are spectacular. 

Zoomed out so you can really see how BIG he was.  Out here on the farm, we see some big spiders, but this one... he is like the macdaddy of all spiders.

Moving on to more pleasant thoughts, so I don't dream of humongous spiders eating me tonight...

Couldn't fit the whole quote, but isn't it pretty :) 

Hay bales (in this case, sloppy mounds of hay): one of my most favorite things about a farm.

Black&white version.

"What is that?" you may ask.  The answer is, a wooden, bench, swing; a place I find much peace. It is a great place to think, pray, acknowledge God's creation... As I was sitting there, I decided to take this picture because I liked how the screws looked. When I edited it, I added these words which are oh, so relevant. (Scroll down)

  I rest here deep in thought and prayer.  My heart is weary, Lord, I lay it down before you.  I hear a whisper in the wind, "Be still, and know that I am God," and it dries my tears.  I will sit here and wait, in awe of Your beauty and magnificent creation, worshipping you all the while. (My attempt at being poetic)...

This is from Wesley's Covenant Prayer.  I made a powerpoint of the whole thing for church, so I will post it on Sunday. It's beautiful. 

I totally just used blogging to procrastinate and now it is very late.  I'm off to bed! Goodnight and have a good Saturday!

Restoration While Keeping

“If you love Me, you will keep my commandments.” [John 14:15]

I’m finding out that keeping God’s commands is much harder than just doing them.  If you read “An Act of Love” you know what I am referring to.  Isn’t there a phrase like, “Set on fire for the Lord” or something?  Well, the truth of the matter is, when God speaks to me I get truly excited and encouraged.  It’s not too often I get a clear direction from God.  Ultimately, I want to do God’s will, I want to obey, so whenever He does give me a clear direction, I get this sort of “fire” inside me.  I’m doing a poor job of explaining this, but I think you understand what I mean.  The ups and downs you face when obeying and keeping God’s commands.  Right now, my “fire” is pretty dim; I just went over the peak of the rollercoaster and now I am speeding down, down, down. I did the initial obeying of God’s will, but now everyday I’m faced with more and more “tests” to see if I’ll keep.  Why do we start out so strong, but are so quick to weaken?  God has given me no reason whatsoever not to trust Him.  So why do I have all these doubts?  Why am I so quick to want to give up?

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.  Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” [Philippians 2:8]

If that doesn’t give good perspective, I don’t know what does.  JESUS CHRIST, the Son of God, died the most painful, humiliating, shameful death ever, on a cross, for us, all in obedience to God. If Jesus loved me enough to do that, then certainly I can handle this simple directive.  There is power in God's Word. Amen?

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” [Romans 8:28]

Also, this is not only an act of love to him, but to God.

“And this is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, that you should walk in it.” [2 John 1:6]

Oh God, You are more than enough.  “When the shadows fall and the wrecking ball swings and tears me through the heart... Will you lead me? Beside the still waters? Where the oil, it runs over? And my cup overflows.  You restore my soul.” [Walk With Me by Caedmon’s Call]

I will keep.

Goodbye, Summer...

Summer is over. School has begun.  

I have mixed feelings about this.  It makes me really really sad that summer is over and that I have to get back into a routine again, but at the same time maybe it will be good for me to have routine again and it will keep me distracted from other things. Overall though, I am not ready for the daily, long, grueling hours of homework. 

Fact about me: I am a homeschooler and I attend a program called Classical Conversations.  (Want a balance between homeschooling and private/public school?  One that will give you structure, community and a great education? Look it up!)

I am certain I will learn many things that I will want to share with you in the future, so to save time, I'm going to tell you about my classes now rather than later.

1. Shakespeare/Poetry (I’m really excited about this class! Our first play that we are reading is, Much Ado About Nothing along with Brightest Heaven of Invention by Peter Leithart as a study guide.  And in Poetry, we are reading The Roar on the Other Side by Suzanne Rhodes)

2. Advanced Philosophy (I look forward to this class as well.  We’re using The Consequence of Ideas by R.C. Sproul as our text)

3. Chemistry (Hm. Math and Science combined. Not much more to say other than I am not a Math or Science person.)

4. Latin 3 (I thoroughly enjoy learning languages.  One problem: I have only taken Latin 1.  So, I have a good bit of catching up to do…)

5. Advanced Math (People always get confused when I call it this, so let me explain.  Saxon is the curriculum we use and that is what they named the book; it’s basically a combination of geometry and pre-calculus)

6. American History (In other words, a big fat, 932 page book, with small print, filled with our Country’s history.  Definitely not looking forward to this class.)

Well, I need to go finish up today's homework before Church.  I hope everyone is having a great week! And to those of you who are starting school, good luck and work hard!

Best Friend

Just when I thought all hope was lost and this Friday was going to be a total bum, I found out my best friend, Hannah, finally got Skype!!!  It made my day :)

Hannah and I grew up inseparable; best friends forever.  When she moved away, things changed... but... not really.  Sure, we don't see each other as much and our lives are completely different, but when we reunite it's like not even a minute has passed by.  I love it.  When you are a kid, friendships are so easy.  You meet someone your size and immediately you become best friends.  There are no conditions, you just play and love each other.  Hannah and I worked our hardest to see each other every single day.  I have a very vivid memory figuring out what we could do each day. 

Monday: Piano lessons
Tuesday: Ballet
Wednesday: Church
Thursday: Gymnastics
Friday: Sleepover
Saturday: Try to talk our Moms into another sleepover
Sunday: Church

That's probably not the right order, but that was basically our life back then.  We would make desperate attempts to have sleepovers almost every day.  Those were the days...
Anyways, Hannah's and my friendship has stayed easy.  It's a miracle.  It seems that once you become a teenager, friendships become very difficult.  But our child-like friendship has remained and that is why she will always be my best friend.

If you read this, I love you and I am so, so thankful for you. :)

Aww, nostalgia is getting to me. I have so many fond memories with her...

Ha!  I just found a quote: "The only reason God didn't make us sisters is because one mom couldn't handle us both." Hahaha

Let the Rant Begin

Although, I slept fairly well last night (compared to the night before), I would still like to vent about my sleeping issues. 

#1: It takes absolutely FOREVER to fall asleep! Sleeping is something that just happens, right? Normally, we don’t think through the process of falling asleep.  I do.  Every time I start to enter into a sleep, my mind jerks me back, so then I try and focus on how to get to that state of sleepiness again. It just doesn’t work out.

#2: After the struggle with myself to fall asleep, I am then faced with constant dreaming.  CONSTANT.  I’ve heard something like dreams really only last 2 seconds… well, I don’t think I believe that.   I wake up several times throughout the night from these “dreams” and in the morning, I’m exhausted (no matter how many hours of sleep I get).

#3: These “dreams” could hardly be called such, but they’re not really nightmares.  Most of the time, I am just really tense during them.  I had like a Transformer’s dream where big robots kept chasing me. Being chased is my biggest fear… but I was able to beat them, so that is why it doesn’t qualify as a nightmare.  Anyways, you get the point.  Being tense in my dreams probably means that I’m tense in real life, which is why I wake up so tired.

Well, that is all.  The saddest part of this all is that I used to LOVE sleep. I would get all happy and warm inside when I thought about it..and now I dread it. It is very sad. :( Well.. if anyone has any remedies, please share :)

A Day in Narnia

Narnia. As in The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. As in a beautiful and magical world.  I wish my closet had a secret passageway to a place like Narnia.  Anytime the world became overbearing, I would just sneak into Narnia.  What would I do?

First, I would find Aslan.  I would run to him and hug him tight.  I would lie on his soft mane in a quiet meadow next to a clear spring.  Releasing all of my troubles, I would cling to his every word and feel reassured. Eventually, I would fall in a blissful sleep.

Then I would visit Mr. Tumnus for tea time.  I would be relieved by our deep, but simple friendship.

Of course, I would have to have a little chat with the Beavers.  They are so sweet and caring.

I would take a boat ride out into the Sea of Lilies, surrounded by purity.

I would sing as loud as I could and dance with the trees, laughing all the while.

Then sit on the beach with Aslan and watch the crystal clear waves come in and out, acknowledging the majestic sound and breathing in the salty air.

Say my goodbyes until next time and enter back into my world, refreshed and at peace.

Yup, this sounds just about perfect, don’t you think?

 

"Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight,
At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death,
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again."

Surrender Your Dreams

Lyrics from "Surrender" by Barlowgirl.

Surrender your dreams to God and let His plan unravel in your life. He will take care of you.

Tuesdays

Tuesdays tend to be my "get things done" day.  Probably because I'm forced to have an early start due to piano lessons, haha. Sometimes I like Tuesdays, sometimes they are just a pain.  I liked today.  I went to piano lessons and made some final improvements on a song with the help of my teacher.  Then, Mom and I went school supply shopping! I'm definitely not ready for school to start back, but I do looove me some school supplies! The beginning of the school year is like a fresh start on organization.  So, I spent the rest of the day cleaning and organizing my room! It looks great :)

I'm somewhat obsessive when it comes to starting a school year.  If the organization isn't perfect in the beginning, you're just doomed for the rest of the year.  So, I take a lot of time figuring out how to make things as perfect as possible!  I'm also a teeny-bit obsessed with sticky notes.  They are just so wonderful!  I don't like marking in books... when I do, it just seems... wrong.  I guess that's just how I was raised!  So, instead of writing in the book, I use sticky notes!  They have even invented see-through highlighter sticky notes that I am proud new owner of :)  The only downfall to getting all my supplies is that I now have no excuse not to do my summer homework...  I suppose I will start that tomorrow.

Well, I just had the urge to blog about my day.  Here's a picture of my pretty notebooks!

One for each class!

My favorite :)

Every time I have a good, productive Tuesday, I am reminded of Kari Jobe.  For some odd reason, she LOVES Tuesdays (And she quite frequently posts about it on Facebook).  For those of you who don't know, Kari Jobe is a phenomenal, Christian singer.  She's probably best known for singing, Revelation Song, but some of my other favorites are, Be Still, and Sweep Me Away.  She is so talented.

Hope you all had as good a Tuesday as I did and I hope tomorrow is even better :)

An Act of Love

When two people are in love, they feel as if they are on top of the world; like nothing is impossible.  Even the undeniably nerve-wracking future doesn't seem as daunting because you believe that together, you can handle anything.  I've found out that reality will find you sooner or later.  It'll jerk you down from Cloud Nine if you stay up there too long.  Personally, I was naive enough to believe that, together, we could conquer the infamous long distance relationship (DUN DUN DUNNNNN).  Our love would be strong enough to overcome any obstacles.  I can't help but laugh at myself now.  Who was I kidding? I knew what lay ahead if we went down that road: miscommunication, fights, jealousy, resentment, and we would slowly fall out of love. Oh, but it was so nice on Cloud Nine.  You can't blame me for at least hoping that this would be like any other fairytale: perfect.  But of course, reality hit me in the face... real, real hard.  I was forced to accept that it wouldn't be perfect; not in the slightest.  Just to be clear, I am in no way "anti-love" or even "anti-reality."  Let me explain why.  My first love, is going to college, 8 hours away, in just a matter of days...  We've been together for a year and it's been a wonderful year.  We talked about attempting long distance and taking it one step at a time, but deep down I knew it wouldn't work out.  So I prayed about it, and asked him to as well.  I was afraid that what I wanted would make God's direction unclear.  We all know we have selective hearing.  I knew what God was asking of me, but I wanted to deny it.  I wanted to erase it from my mind and say it was the devil messing with my emotions.  It was late one night, and this lay heavily on my mind.  I was listening to my ipod when the song, From The Inside Out (by Hillsong United), started to play.  I started singing along (as I usually do), but this time the words struck me in a way they never have before.  "Your will above all else, my purpose remains. The art of losing myself in bringing You praise... Lord, I give you control."  At that moment, my decision was made and as heart breaking a decision as it was, I had a strange peace.  The next night, we talked about it and he felt the same way.  I couldn't help but have a little hope that he would fight against it, that I had made the wrong decision... but we came to a mutual agreement.  We would spend out last month together, cherishing every moment, and when the time came we would say goodbye and go our separate ways.  Now, the easiest way to tell of the circumstance is, "we're breaking up."  But I really loathe that phrase and here's why.  This is not a normal break up.  This is an act of love.  We still love each other, but if I didn't let him go that would be the epitome of selfishness.  "Love is not self-serving..." (1 Corinthians 13:5)  So, you see, if we were to stay together, it wouldn't be love at all.  Allowing each other freedom and obeying God's will for the betterment of each other, is love.  "It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:7)  This experience has completely redefined love for me. 1 Corinthians 13 is probably one of my most favorite passages because I am desperate to attain agape.  When I was arguing with God over the matter, I was telling Him, the Perfecter of love, that love is supposed to persevere!! It never fails!  But I was so foolish.  In this act is protection, trust, hope, and perseverance.   God is good.  He has plans to prosper me, plans to give me hope and a future.  I just thought my plans were better :) It's been very difficult for me to submit.  I had everything planned how I wanted it and God gently reminded me, "My will, not yours." Now, I don't want to put anyone under the impression that, "God gave me a strange peace," and it's been a cake-walk since then.  No, no no... I'm still dealing with what every girl goes through when your heart gets broken.  Sure, circumstances are a little bit different, but the hurt and loss is still there.  I think that non-Christians sometimes become Christians merely because they hear all these inspirational stories and how God told me what I had to do so I did it and everything is going to work out, blah, blah, blah.   So, I would just like to say that, although this has been a very redefining experience in which I am given much hope, it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  Life is hard, but God is good.

I shared this for a few reasons.  First, I really just needed to write all that out.  Second,  I hope that it encourages those who struggle with submission .  And third, I want people to know that this is not an ordinary break-up;

It is an act of love.

Prayer Box (Continued)

I figured out how to put my prayers into the box!!! Below is my first DIY tutorial, I'm super excited :)

How to Fold a Sticky Note into an Envelope (Letters to God):

Get a colorful sticky note and write your prayer to God on the STICKY side.

Fold it in half so writing is on the inside.

This part is a little tricky.  I can never do it evenly, but I think it gives it a little something ;)  Fold the top two corners in so they come together in the middle.

Then do the same to the other side.

Fold the top down.

Then tuck the bottom up underneath it. 

I like to write "Dear God" as the "address"  but you can do whatever you want. 

I write the date on the other side and I keep it closed by a small paperclip.  I tried using a sticker, but it didn't work as well.  Tell me if you have any other ideas.  I kind of like the paperclip though.  It's unique.

Then all you have to do is stick it into your prayer box, truly praying what you just wrote and "mail" it to God. 

Aren't they cute?

I probably shouldn't have done my first DIY tutorial at 1:30 in the morning, but hey! I was excited... I couldn't help it.  I'm not usually this creative.  I like the thought of them being letters and then when I drop it in the slot, it's like I'm sending it off.  I love it!  It's already helping :)  Now that you're awestruck at my amazing creativity and really inspired, go make a prayer box! <-- That was a joke by the way. :D  But seriously, make one; they're awesome.

P.S. The font I am using makes exclamation points look like "l"s, but I promise I'm not adding random "l"s everywhere, just exclamation points !!!  Goodnight :)