A Work in Progress

Blog is under construction.  Wish I could finish now, but American History (aka Mom) is calling my name. It will be finished by tomorrow hopefully.

Today was a Good Day

Yes, you heard me right: today was a good day!  Being productive makes me feel good. I woke up early and cleaned my bathroom.  Mom, my brother and I ran a few errands and I read The Consequences of Ideas and The Roar on the Other Side in the car to Mom.  I finished all of my Philosophy homework :) Poetry is still a work in progress, but I got a lot accomplished.  I had an assignment to go to the grocery store and study the fruits and vegetables.  It was really fun actually.  Poetry is my favorite subject.  Although, I’m definitely not a master poet, I enjoy trying to be poetic.  It is such a beautiful way to write/talk.  I look forward to learning more about it.  Tonight, I went to play bingo at a nursing home with my youth group.  It was so much fun!  They loooove them some Bingo, let me tell you!  It's intense!  Most of the night, I hung out with this one lady: she had difficulty reading the numbers, so I had to point to her which ones she could put a chip on.  She was as sweet as could be.  One time, I pointed to a number and she grabbed my arm and kissed it and told me how she hadn’t played Bingo in forever and how she was going to quit after this round.  Well, she played the entire night :)  I hope we go back soon.  The family was all together when I got home due to some out-of-town company.  So I enjoyed being with everyone and I did my Latin homework.  Now, I am exhausted, but I’m going to try to do a little more homework.  I’m getting really worried about getting it all done before Tuesday. 

Oh hey! I finally uploaded those pictures that you have been awaiting in anticipation :)

So, scary story:

I was wandering around outside when I came across this big guy.  First reaction is to scream. Second is "Dang, I need my camera!" Third, "Ooh, look at this ladybug." (Maybe I'm ADD afterall) I ran and got my camera and by the time I got back the spider had jumped down to the bottom of his web and was spinning what I am almost positive is that poor ladybug I saw a moment earlier.  It was fascinating, but horrifying at the same time.

This is his underside.  Check out that web.  Spider webs are spectacular. 

Zoomed out so you can really see how BIG he was.  Out here on the farm, we see some big spiders, but this one... he is like the macdaddy of all spiders.

Moving on to more pleasant thoughts, so I don't dream of humongous spiders eating me tonight...

Couldn't fit the whole quote, but isn't it pretty :) 

Hay bales (in this case, sloppy mounds of hay): one of my most favorite things about a farm.

Black&white version.

"What is that?" you may ask.  The answer is, a wooden, bench, swing; a place I find much peace. It is a great place to think, pray, acknowledge God's creation... As I was sitting there, I decided to take this picture because I liked how the screws looked. When I edited it, I added these words which are oh, so relevant. (Scroll down)

  I rest here deep in thought and prayer.  My heart is weary, Lord, I lay it down before you.  I hear a whisper in the wind, "Be still, and know that I am God," and it dries my tears.  I will sit here and wait, in awe of Your beauty and magnificent creation, worshipping you all the while. (My attempt at being poetic)...

This is from Wesley's Covenant Prayer.  I made a powerpoint of the whole thing for church, so I will post it on Sunday. It's beautiful. 

I totally just used blogging to procrastinate and now it is very late.  I'm off to bed! Goodnight and have a good Saturday!

Restoration While Keeping

“If you love Me, you will keep my commandments.” [John 14:15]

I’m finding out that keeping God’s commands is much harder than just doing them.  If you read “An Act of Love” you know what I am referring to.  Isn’t there a phrase like, “Set on fire for the Lord” or something?  Well, the truth of the matter is, when God speaks to me I get truly excited and encouraged.  It’s not too often I get a clear direction from God.  Ultimately, I want to do God’s will, I want to obey, so whenever He does give me a clear direction, I get this sort of “fire” inside me.  I’m doing a poor job of explaining this, but I think you understand what I mean.  The ups and downs you face when obeying and keeping God’s commands.  Right now, my “fire” is pretty dim; I just went over the peak of the rollercoaster and now I am speeding down, down, down. I did the initial obeying of God’s will, but now everyday I’m faced with more and more “tests” to see if I’ll keep.  Why do we start out so strong, but are so quick to weaken?  God has given me no reason whatsoever not to trust Him.  So why do I have all these doubts?  Why am I so quick to want to give up?

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.  Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” [Philippians 2:8]

If that doesn’t give good perspective, I don’t know what does.  JESUS CHRIST, the Son of God, died the most painful, humiliating, shameful death ever, on a cross, for us, all in obedience to God. If Jesus loved me enough to do that, then certainly I can handle this simple directive.  There is power in God's Word. Amen?

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” [Romans 8:28]

Also, this is not only an act of love to him, but to God.

“And this is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, that you should walk in it.” [2 John 1:6]

Oh God, You are more than enough.  “When the shadows fall and the wrecking ball swings and tears me through the heart... Will you lead me? Beside the still waters? Where the oil, it runs over? And my cup overflows.  You restore my soul.” [Walk With Me by Caedmon’s Call]

I will keep.

Goodbye, Summer...

Summer is over. School has begun.  

I have mixed feelings about this.  It makes me really really sad that summer is over and that I have to get back into a routine again, but at the same time maybe it will be good for me to have routine again and it will keep me distracted from other things. Overall though, I am not ready for the daily, long, grueling hours of homework. 

Fact about me: I am a homeschooler and I attend a program called Classical Conversations.  (Want a balance between homeschooling and private/public school?  One that will give you structure, community and a great education? Look it up!)

I am certain I will learn many things that I will want to share with you in the future, so to save time, I'm going to tell you about my classes now rather than later.

1. Shakespeare/Poetry (I’m really excited about this class! Our first play that we are reading is, Much Ado About Nothing along with Brightest Heaven of Invention by Peter Leithart as a study guide.  And in Poetry, we are reading The Roar on the Other Side by Suzanne Rhodes)

2. Advanced Philosophy (I look forward to this class as well.  We’re using The Consequence of Ideas by R.C. Sproul as our text)

3. Chemistry (Hm. Math and Science combined. Not much more to say other than I am not a Math or Science person.)

4. Latin 3 (I thoroughly enjoy learning languages.  One problem: I have only taken Latin 1.  So, I have a good bit of catching up to do…)

5. Advanced Math (People always get confused when I call it this, so let me explain.  Saxon is the curriculum we use and that is what they named the book; it’s basically a combination of geometry and pre-calculus)

6. American History (In other words, a big fat, 932 page book, with small print, filled with our Country’s history.  Definitely not looking forward to this class.)

Well, I need to go finish up today's homework before Church.  I hope everyone is having a great week! And to those of you who are starting school, good luck and work hard!

Best Friend

Just when I thought all hope was lost and this Friday was going to be a total bum, I found out my best friend, Hannah, finally got Skype!!!  It made my day :)

Hannah and I grew up inseparable; best friends forever.  When she moved away, things changed... but... not really.  Sure, we don't see each other as much and our lives are completely different, but when we reunite it's like not even a minute has passed by.  I love it.  When you are a kid, friendships are so easy.  You meet someone your size and immediately you become best friends.  There are no conditions, you just play and love each other.  Hannah and I worked our hardest to see each other every single day.  I have a very vivid memory figuring out what we could do each day. 

Monday: Piano lessons
Tuesday: Ballet
Wednesday: Church
Thursday: Gymnastics
Friday: Sleepover
Saturday: Try to talk our Moms into another sleepover
Sunday: Church

That's probably not the right order, but that was basically our life back then.  We would make desperate attempts to have sleepovers almost every day.  Those were the days...
Anyways, Hannah's and my friendship has stayed easy.  It's a miracle.  It seems that once you become a teenager, friendships become very difficult.  But our child-like friendship has remained and that is why she will always be my best friend.

If you read this, I love you and I am so, so thankful for you. :)

Aww, nostalgia is getting to me. I have so many fond memories with her...

Ha!  I just found a quote: "The only reason God didn't make us sisters is because one mom couldn't handle us both." Hahaha

Let the Rant Begin

Although, I slept fairly well last night (compared to the night before), I would still like to vent about my sleeping issues. 

#1: It takes absolutely FOREVER to fall asleep! Sleeping is something that just happens, right? Normally, we don’t think through the process of falling asleep.  I do.  Every time I start to enter into a sleep, my mind jerks me back, so then I try and focus on how to get to that state of sleepiness again. It just doesn’t work out.

#2: After the struggle with myself to fall asleep, I am then faced with constant dreaming.  CONSTANT.  I’ve heard something like dreams really only last 2 seconds… well, I don’t think I believe that.   I wake up several times throughout the night from these “dreams” and in the morning, I’m exhausted (no matter how many hours of sleep I get).

#3: These “dreams” could hardly be called such, but they’re not really nightmares.  Most of the time, I am just really tense during them.  I had like a Transformer’s dream where big robots kept chasing me. Being chased is my biggest fear… but I was able to beat them, so that is why it doesn’t qualify as a nightmare.  Anyways, you get the point.  Being tense in my dreams probably means that I’m tense in real life, which is why I wake up so tired.

Well, that is all.  The saddest part of this all is that I used to LOVE sleep. I would get all happy and warm inside when I thought about it..and now I dread it. It is very sad. :( Well.. if anyone has any remedies, please share :)

A Day in Narnia

Narnia. As in The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. As in a beautiful and magical world.  I wish my closet had a secret passageway to a place like Narnia.  Anytime the world became overbearing, I would just sneak into Narnia.  What would I do?

First, I would find Aslan.  I would run to him and hug him tight.  I would lie on his soft mane in a quiet meadow next to a clear spring.  Releasing all of my troubles, I would cling to his every word and feel reassured. Eventually, I would fall in a blissful sleep.

Then I would visit Mr. Tumnus for tea time.  I would be relieved by our deep, but simple friendship.

Of course, I would have to have a little chat with the Beavers.  They are so sweet and caring.

I would take a boat ride out into the Sea of Lilies, surrounded by purity.

I would sing as loud as I could and dance with the trees, laughing all the while.

Then sit on the beach with Aslan and watch the crystal clear waves come in and out, acknowledging the majestic sound and breathing in the salty air.

Say my goodbyes until next time and enter back into my world, refreshed and at peace.

Yup, this sounds just about perfect, don’t you think?

 

"Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight,
At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death,
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again."

Surrender Your Dreams

Lyrics from "Surrender" by Barlowgirl.

Surrender your dreams to God and let His plan unravel in your life. He will take care of you.

Tuesdays

Tuesdays tend to be my "get things done" day.  Probably because I'm forced to have an early start due to piano lessons, haha. Sometimes I like Tuesdays, sometimes they are just a pain.  I liked today.  I went to piano lessons and made some final improvements on a song with the help of my teacher.  Then, Mom and I went school supply shopping! I'm definitely not ready for school to start back, but I do looove me some school supplies! The beginning of the school year is like a fresh start on organization.  So, I spent the rest of the day cleaning and organizing my room! It looks great :)

I'm somewhat obsessive when it comes to starting a school year.  If the organization isn't perfect in the beginning, you're just doomed for the rest of the year.  So, I take a lot of time figuring out how to make things as perfect as possible!  I'm also a teeny-bit obsessed with sticky notes.  They are just so wonderful!  I don't like marking in books... when I do, it just seems... wrong.  I guess that's just how I was raised!  So, instead of writing in the book, I use sticky notes!  They have even invented see-through highlighter sticky notes that I am proud new owner of :)  The only downfall to getting all my supplies is that I now have no excuse not to do my summer homework...  I suppose I will start that tomorrow.

Well, I just had the urge to blog about my day.  Here's a picture of my pretty notebooks!

One for each class!

My favorite :)

Every time I have a good, productive Tuesday, I am reminded of Kari Jobe.  For some odd reason, she LOVES Tuesdays (And she quite frequently posts about it on Facebook).  For those of you who don't know, Kari Jobe is a phenomenal, Christian singer.  She's probably best known for singing, Revelation Song, but some of my other favorites are, Be Still, and Sweep Me Away.  She is so talented.

Hope you all had as good a Tuesday as I did and I hope tomorrow is even better :)

An Act of Love

When two people are in love, they feel as if they are on top of the world; like nothing is impossible.  Even the undeniably nerve-wracking future doesn't seem as daunting because you believe that together, you can handle anything.  I've found out that reality will find you sooner or later.  It'll jerk you down from Cloud Nine if you stay up there too long.  Personally, I was naive enough to believe that, together, we could conquer the infamous long distance relationship (DUN DUN DUNNNNN).  Our love would be strong enough to overcome any obstacles.  I can't help but laugh at myself now.  Who was I kidding? I knew what lay ahead if we went down that road: miscommunication, fights, jealousy, resentment, and we would slowly fall out of love. Oh, but it was so nice on Cloud Nine.  You can't blame me for at least hoping that this would be like any other fairytale: perfect.  But of course, reality hit me in the face... real, real hard.  I was forced to accept that it wouldn't be perfect; not in the slightest.  Just to be clear, I am in no way "anti-love" or even "anti-reality."  Let me explain why.  My first love, is going to college, 8 hours away, in just a matter of days...  We've been together for a year and it's been a wonderful year.  We talked about attempting long distance and taking it one step at a time, but deep down I knew it wouldn't work out.  So I prayed about it, and asked him to as well.  I was afraid that what I wanted would make God's direction unclear.  We all know we have selective hearing.  I knew what God was asking of me, but I wanted to deny it.  I wanted to erase it from my mind and say it was the devil messing with my emotions.  It was late one night, and this lay heavily on my mind.  I was listening to my ipod when the song, From The Inside Out (by Hillsong United), started to play.  I started singing along (as I usually do), but this time the words struck me in a way they never have before.  "Your will above all else, my purpose remains. The art of losing myself in bringing You praise... Lord, I give you control."  At that moment, my decision was made and as heart breaking a decision as it was, I had a strange peace.  The next night, we talked about it and he felt the same way.  I couldn't help but have a little hope that he would fight against it, that I had made the wrong decision... but we came to a mutual agreement.  We would spend out last month together, cherishing every moment, and when the time came we would say goodbye and go our separate ways.  Now, the easiest way to tell of the circumstance is, "we're breaking up."  But I really loathe that phrase and here's why.  This is not a normal break up.  This is an act of love.  We still love each other, but if I didn't let him go that would be the epitome of selfishness.  "Love is not self-serving..." (1 Corinthians 13:5)  So, you see, if we were to stay together, it wouldn't be love at all.  Allowing each other freedom and obeying God's will for the betterment of each other, is love.  "It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:7)  This experience has completely redefined love for me. 1 Corinthians 13 is probably one of my most favorite passages because I am desperate to attain agape.  When I was arguing with God over the matter, I was telling Him, the Perfecter of love, that love is supposed to persevere!! It never fails!  But I was so foolish.  In this act is protection, trust, hope, and perseverance.   God is good.  He has plans to prosper me, plans to give me hope and a future.  I just thought my plans were better :) It's been very difficult for me to submit.  I had everything planned how I wanted it and God gently reminded me, "My will, not yours." Now, I don't want to put anyone under the impression that, "God gave me a strange peace," and it's been a cake-walk since then.  No, no no... I'm still dealing with what every girl goes through when your heart gets broken.  Sure, circumstances are a little bit different, but the hurt and loss is still there.  I think that non-Christians sometimes become Christians merely because they hear all these inspirational stories and how God told me what I had to do so I did it and everything is going to work out, blah, blah, blah.   So, I would just like to say that, although this has been a very redefining experience in which I am given much hope, it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  Life is hard, but God is good.

I shared this for a few reasons.  First, I really just needed to write all that out.  Second,  I hope that it encourages those who struggle with submission .  And third, I want people to know that this is not an ordinary break-up;

It is an act of love.

Prayer Box (Continued)

I figured out how to put my prayers into the box!!! Below is my first DIY tutorial, I'm super excited :)

How to Fold a Sticky Note into an Envelope (Letters to God):

Get a colorful sticky note and write your prayer to God on the STICKY side.

Fold it in half so writing is on the inside.

This part is a little tricky.  I can never do it evenly, but I think it gives it a little something ;)  Fold the top two corners in so they come together in the middle.

Then do the same to the other side.

Fold the top down.

Then tuck the bottom up underneath it. 

I like to write "Dear God" as the "address"  but you can do whatever you want. 

I write the date on the other side and I keep it closed by a small paperclip.  I tried using a sticker, but it didn't work as well.  Tell me if you have any other ideas.  I kind of like the paperclip though.  It's unique.

Then all you have to do is stick it into your prayer box, truly praying what you just wrote and "mail" it to God. 

Aren't they cute?

I probably shouldn't have done my first DIY tutorial at 1:30 in the morning, but hey! I was excited... I couldn't help it.  I'm not usually this creative.  I like the thought of them being letters and then when I drop it in the slot, it's like I'm sending it off.  I love it!  It's already helping :)  Now that you're awestruck at my amazing creativity and really inspired, go make a prayer box! <-- That was a joke by the way. :D  But seriously, make one; they're awesome.

P.S. The font I am using makes exclamation points look like "l"s, but I promise I'm not adding random "l"s everywhere, just exclamation points !!!  Goodnight :)

Prayer Box

Have you ever read Redeeming Love?  If you haven't, drop everything you are doing, go out and buy this book (by Francine Rivers) and read it until you finish it. If you have, you know why I so strongly believe that everyone should read that book.  Anyways, in the book one of the characters has a "God box." 

'When problems prey on my mind, I write them down, fold them up, and put them through the slot.  Once they're inside this box, they're God's problem and not mine... I'm a fixer, Angel.  A worrier.  I've never been able to just let things go.  I want to play God, if you will.' She smiled in self-mockery.  'Every time I do, things go awry.'  She patted the box.  'So I have this... it reminds me to put faith in God and not in myself.  The bonus comes when I see my prayers are answered.'

This is Susanna's description of her God box.  I recently re-read Redeeming Love and seeing as I, too am a control freak I decided to make one. This is what I came up with :)

Instead of "God box" I call it my prayer box :)  This is the front.

This is the back. Phillipians 4:6-7

I need some advice.  I know that I'm going to fill it with colorful sticky notes so it will be nice and pretty, but I can't decide whether I should crumple them up, or fold them.  I kind of like the crumple look, but I want to be able to read them later on.  Any suggestions or opinions?

Top of the box where the slot is.

I made this on Picnik.  It is filled with lyrics from "While I'm Waiting," "From the Inside Out," Psalm 46:10, Psalm 55:22 and "Learn to dance in the rain."  I love it :)

This is the verse I used for the back.  I'm probably going to add more to the back when I think of things, but for now this is it!

Oh! So cool story.  I got this glass box from Hobby Lobby a while back.  Everytime I'm in there I get so inspired and buy things without having the slightest idea what I'm going to do with it.  So, it stayed in my closet for several months until I figured out it's purpose.  A prayer box. It was destiny ;)

I can't wait to put it to use :D

Clouds

Clouds. 

Big, fluffy, white, happy clouds?

OR

Big, dense, dark, sad clouds? 

Does anyone know where I'm going with this (because I'm not really sure either, haha.) I've been thinking about clouds today.  "Why?" might you ask?  Because it is August 1st and August 1st means summer is almost over.  The last thing I want is summer to be over and so I think it would be nice to hop on a fluffy little cloud and float away for awhile.

I started looking for quotes about clouds and most of them gives clouds a negative connotation. They are usually used to represent a bad time in your life.  You know, those big, dense, dark, sad clouds that sometimes we feel are shrouding our life? But what about the big, fluffy, white, happy clouds?  Do we just forget about that side of a cloud? It kind of reminds me of people.  Once people see the "dark" side of another, they forget about the good side.  *Sigh* I don't know where I'm going with this.  Perhaps it is an issue of optimism vs. pessimism.  Perspective.  When days feel like a dark cloud is covering you, turn it into a happy cloud.

I love clouds.  Clouds are so dreamy... I love looking up at them and making them into shapes.  I've always wanted to spread out on one and take a nap (They look so comfy!)  ... until I watched Dumbo and saw how the little baby elephant kept falling through.  It would not be very nice to fall asleep and wake up falling through the air (Ooh! But maybe I would be like Dumbo and fly against all odds!)  I also think about in Sleeping Beauty, in the end when Aurora and the Prince are dancing in the clouds singing, "Once Upon A Dream"  I can't help but swoon.  Haha, as you can see, Disney teaches me many things :)  I have a big imagination.

Well, if you actually decided to continue reading this nonsensical post about clouds, I thank you.  I wish I could have made more sense of it.  If anyone has any way of better explaining what I was trying to say, feel free to comment :)  Here are some pictures of clouds that I have taken over the past few months.

Just looking at them makes me happy! "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die! IT'S SO FLUFFAYYYYYY!" ~ Agnes (A little Despicable Me humor )

Tornado cloud.

Rows of clouds.

I love it when the light seeps it's way out!

Surround yourself with these clouds! This one reminds me of The Lion King.

I feel like this post was just a game to see how many Disney movies I could refer to.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. <-- Mary Poppins :D
Have yourself a wonderful Tuesday :)